Submission

I have submitted. 2 copies of my contemporary romance (code named Chivalrous, but with a slightly more imaginative—and totally negotiable—title). One to an editor, one to an agent. Actually, only three chapters plus a synopsis. The editor might have been willing to read more, but in my nervousness during the pitch, I failed to find out exactly how much to send. So, I decided to be cautious and only send a partial.

OK, cautious and freaked out. Because I have had the book sitting on the shelf for about a year, and it’s been edited. But every time I open up something I write, I want to edit some more. And I knew that if I was going to send the whole book, then I would want to re-read and probably re-edit the whole thing. I need to do that (I am also incapable of sending my children off in public without brushing their hair one last time). But I wasn’t going to get through it all last week, with work, and an evening class, and kids who hadn’t seen me in 5 days.

So now, why am I so nervous? Its not like I haven’t queried before. I sent out a dozen or so query letters last fall for the same book (and got a dozen or so rejections, though one partial request before the rejection. The worst these two can say is “no”. I think maybe its because the whole situation is more personal—I saw their faces, and talked to them in person. I saw real interest (not necessarily grandiose enthusiasm, but interest) in the idea. Not like a faceless cold-call query letter to an agent found online who had “romance” listed in their areas of interest.

So now, I’m torn between dusting and polishing Chivalrous (thereby investing time and emotional energy into something that is likely to be rejected again), or wrapping up my Sci Fi, and preparing to start something new, or finish something else that’s in progress.

Maybe I should count myself lucky that I have precious little time this week either, so even if I waffle over the decision for a couple of days, I will have wasted minutes, not hours or days, of productive writing time.