Becase I don't want to relax this Christmas...

Shall I sweat? Hmm...60-100K words between November 10 and January 26th. Since I should have 50000 by November 30th, it sounds kind of doable.

Let's give it a whirl. I'll be working on my paranormal. I'm still not sure I'm willing to admit in public the premise of the novel yet. Heck, I'm barely willing to admit Chivalrous (which I've renamed) talks about both Renn Faires and house rehabbing, and I'm querying the sucker to agents. Maybe later. When I can say it with a straight face. I'll give you a hint: there are no were-rabbits or demonic slugs planned for the novel, or its potential follow-ons.

Though those enormous pointy teeth have some serious romantic potential, no?

The untitled post

I'm short on posts lately. I actually attempted to email one in the other day, but it was returned undeliverable. Apparently I need to check my email-post settings. You didn't miss much.

Ah well. Here's the scoop: I did not final in the Gateway to the Best. In fact, two authors took all 3(4)...apparently there was a tie for 3rd...slots in Contemporary romance. Bummer. I haven't seen my scores yet, and I'm hoping for some good comments.

So, to celebrate my lack of success, I mailed out 5 queries last night. Emailed, of course. I have two agents on my list that don't admit to wanting e-queries, and they're at the bottom of the list.

So, onward to the rejection stage.

And NaNoWriMo. My brain has been working furiously on characters and scene snippets. And I think I want to set myself up a Wiki for some world building, as there will be more details to manage. I tried TiddlyWiki, but am not in love. I shall have to look up some other options--I think there was even a link to a post about world building with Wiki's on Paperback Writer several months back. That ought to give me something to do for the next 36 hours till NaNo (as if Halloween parties weren't enough to keep me busy...)

(Update...I posted this thing with no title. So, just to screw with everyone's RSS readers, I'm updating it with a title. An oh, so original one.)

A decision

1) I give myself permission not to write between now and Halloween. It wasn't going to happen, anyway, between costume hunts, field trips, parties, and assorted tv/book-themed events (Fancy Nancy AND Thomas the Train both this weekend, and a party that my husband and I are going to attend naked if we don't find costumes soon...).

2) I will get my Golden Heart submission printed and mailed by October 31st. It's sitting, ready, on my laptop. I need to burn my ms to CD. And I need to decide between purchasing a ream of paper + possibly a new ink cartridge vs taking the file to a Kinkos. Leaning towards Kinkos. The decision's complicated by the fact that my thumb drive is AWOL. I think one of the kids was playing with it (it's on a lanyard, and the 4-year old thought it was a necklace). But I don't know whether the drive took a last sojoun to Starbucks before or after it became jewelry. So, it could be anywhere. Darn it.

3) I give myself permission to let Accomplice simmer for a while. I have some research material on request through the library that might help get me back in the spirit. And I know that absence will make the words grow stronger.

4) After Halloween, I will begin querying Chivalrous. Maybe I'll have a writing "cred" to add to my query from the Gateway contest, maybe not. But I have a query letter, a synopsis, and a manuscript. All I can lose at this point is time :)

5) I intend to do NaNoWriMo. I will write (or at least begin) the paranormal that's been on my brain. If I can do like Chivalrous, and pound out the basics of the book during November, great. Then I can let it stew and go back to Accomplice. And then return in late winter/early spring to re-work the paranormal. Time did wonderful things for Chivalrous last year. I did little on it between December 1 and April. When I came back, it was fresh and my subconscious had worked out much of the emotional reasoning behind my characters actions--instinctively, I knew what they would do, but I had to examine the why.

6) I will clean my house! My kitchen floor is sticky, and there are spots under the rims of all toilets. Of course, mopping only lasts until the next meal/snacktime when I have a 19-month old who signals "full" by throwing food on the floor. But since I'm not writing for a week, I have no excuses. Not as many excuses. Ok, only a few excuses, but I'm going to do it anyway, darnit!

More ramblings, angst, and excuses

I made a little more progress over the weekend on Accomplice, but I think I'll end up cutting about half of it. Blech, I'm getting stalled out on it. Not sure I'm stuck, but I think I have to back-track on a few scenes to get my people into the right places. I guess I could go all NaNo on it and just introduce the next scene with a paragraph describing what should have happened to get them here, and then move forward. And fix it later. I might do that. I requested a couple of research books from the library. Not sure I'm willing to admit the subject just yet. I don't know if I'm irrationally afraid that someone would "steal my idea", or just that everyone would laugh. Or tell me that I can't/shouldn't do it.

In the mean time, I'm stressing over time to get other things done. This week, we have evening activities every day but Friday. Thursday is a daycare field trip to the pumpkin patch, which I'm helping to chaperone. And since it's my "day off", I'll probably end up going home with the kids instead of leaving them there so I could get work done (or at least get my oil changed). Saturday my daughter is attending a Fancy Nancy "soiree" at the library, and we have a Halloween party that evening. Oh yeah, and my husband and I don't have costumes yet. Sunday after church we have some sort of Thomas the Train event that my mother-in-law found. Next week is more of the same, plus we're double-booked on Thursday night (daycare hosts their Halloween party in the evening, which annoys the baloney out of me), Friday is Halloween, and Saturday is another party.

And, coming back to the subject of NaNo (I'm actually thinking chronoligically, not just skipping from topic to topic...really), I'm still wavering on whether or not to try it again. Time is worrying me. I don't want to use Accomplice because I think I'm too far in to just power out 50,000 words (I'll want to edit too much). And because the "rules" say you have to start fresh, not use a work-in-progress. Having two works-in-progress worries me. I'm prone to starting projects and not finishing them, and I really don't want to do that here.

I have an idea for a paranormal/urban fantasy, and (with or without conscious permission), my subconscious brain is working through character sketches. I don't know how well this would work, but my hero is going to be a nurse. Yes, a nurse. A male one. Talk about non-alpha male :) And I think that he'll have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about it too. Although its the best career for him, and though nurses are pretty well-educated and well-paid these days, and there are more and more male nurses, people (especially his guy friends) still give him shit. Maybe some of his previous girlfriends have too (which might be why he's unattached). The heroine won't quite understand the issue, though. That will count in her favor, some of the time. He doesn't have a name yet (I may have to go back through my last name-storming post...there were some good suggestions in there).

I just don't know. Am I up for sleep deprivation? Writing from about 9-11+ every night is my best(only) bet for winning. That also means no yoga or pilates DVD workouts before bed (I'm not giving up my weekly exercise class, but that's only one day a week...).

Last year I had a nursing infant who didn't sleep through the night. I'm accostomed to sleep now. Last year I worked 3 days a week, and could count on 2 weekday naptimes for bonus writing time. This year I'm lucky to get one day a week home with the kids, and only one of the two still naps.

Last year this was brand new. NaNo was a lark. I didn't admit to even my husband that I was doing it for nearly 2 weeks. This year, I think I have decent writing skills, and am on the verge of actively seeking publication, am a publicly admitted member of RWA. Failure would be so much more disappointing. Success would have so much less novelty.

I need chocolate!

Writing Tips for the Attention Deficient

I have some rather strong tendencies towards adult ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). Completely undiagnosed, of course. Kids are frequently checked if they have trouble in school, but I never did. I think some of my success in school, and the fact that I've actually written a whole 80k word novel is due to coping techniques. I live my life by little rules that I set for myself, that help me get things done.

If you're curious about the characteristics, check out this questionaire. It pretty much sums me up. Sitting still? Am I supposed to sit still? Ahem. My attention wandered for a moment...

I think the most important rule for me is to not fight my natural tendency to let my mind wander. I am miserable and unproductive if I am forced to work one solitary task, uninterrupted, from beginning to end, if it takes longer than about 10 minutes. I do best with 2 or 3 (or more!) things going on, so when my mind decides to wander, that it has a legitimate place to wander. Right now, I'm installing software at work while I blog. I won't be any more productive staring at the install screen, really. And I certainly won't be happier.

For writing, here are a few tips (and a lot of permission slips) for anyone else who deals with these tendencies:

1) If you're afraid to start a novel at the beginning, don't. Start wherever you like. You can go back and add a beginning later. Really.

2) If, like me, you can't sit down and think through all the twists and turns of your plot before you start writing, then don't. There's a word for us among writers: we're pantsers. There's no shame in being a pantser! Write where the novel takes you--unless you're using a chisel and a block of stone, you can always edit later!

3) If you have a hard time finding the motivation to do your final cleanup, a series of edits, or whatnot, then don't. Today. Write yourself a to-do list and stick it in the same folder as your manuscript. Then, when you're either motivated, bored, or have a pressing deadline (a contest or submission request), you will have your list of tasks all ready. I always work better under a deadline anyway!

4) If you have trouble sticking to the writing when you're at the computer, then schedule yourself some downtime. Turn off your wireless internet, or unplug the network cable for, say, 45 minutes of writing. Then allow yourself 15 minutes to surf or post to your blog. Schedule your work time first, but with breaks frequent enough to keep your mind fresh and unfettered. Or, if it's really bad, take your laptop somewhere with no internet access--you will have nothing better to do than write! Just don't do that so often that you resent your writing time, because resentment is a creativity killer.

5) I find comfort in routine and repetitive physical activities. Doing the dishes. Driving in the car. Folding laundry. Exercising on an elliptical machine. It frees my mind up, and helps me untangle all of the thought thread running through my brain. I find that some of my best "writing" is done during these types of activities, which makes the words pour out of my fingertips when I'm at the keyboard. Again, I know that the sedentary activity of typing is not where I do my best thinking, so I try to optimize the keyboard vs thought stages. Getting enough exercise helps control the fidgeting too!

Sometimes I am a complete flake about a task, and sometimes it all-out consumes me and I resent every little interruption. Learn to work with both tendencies in ways that are 1) productive and 2) not damaging to your social interactions :) In everything you do, it is important to be true to yourself, and not try to force yourself to be something you're not. That doesn't mean to let your bad habits run rampant, just don't let anyone tell you that there is only "correct" way to write or think.

Ok, break time's over. Get back to your writing!

Ramblings

Still no new progress on Accomplice. I have made a good pass through Chivalrous for entering the Golden Heart. I have a copy that is all in one file (that I can burn to a CD and mail), as well as my snopsis written. And I spell-checked. That takes a long time on an 80k word manuscript when Word isn't fond of sentence fragments. Apparently, I misspell desperate and tongue a lot :)

Happily, my synopsis clocks in at 6 pages, double-spaced. And the end of my Chapter 4 is at exactly 49 pages. Added together, it's a neat and tidy 55...exactly the maximum requirement for entry. Magic, I tell you.

My brain is being seduced by a potential paranormal book (in a world that easily lends itself to a series). It's to the point that I've actually scribbled a couple of paragraphs of dialogue between the two main characters. No name for it yet, only for the heroine: Myrrah. I don't know why. But its her name.

The power of suggestion

I really ought to learn to keep my mouth shut. I have told any number of people--here, at a RWA critique group, at home...--that I was looking forward to having about 2 hours on Thursday of writing time (daytime hours! Before 5pm! When my brain is still working!), and was going to take Friday off (I had a long list of other household issues to take care of, but writing was on the schedule).

I apparently said something in front of my youngest, the 18 month old. Who, by 10am Thursday, was running a fever of over 102. And threw up all over me once I got him (and his sister, who was fine but jealous) home from daycare. Joy.

I found about 5 minutes between soothing the baby, acting as a human crib (I'm apparently much more comfortable than his bed), and acting as a large kleenex (did I mention the snot?). Joy.

Friday wasn't so bad. His fever actually broke around 5am, so he was in fairly good spirits all day, though he didn't nap for very long. I got a couple of good walks in--he likes riding in the jogging stroller. The third walk became a stroll around the living room (in the stroller, buckled at his insistence), because I was too tired for another half mile jaunt around our hilly neighborhood (and we're up high...so there's no ending on a downhill glide).

So, no progress. No editing. There might have been 20 new words on Accomplice, but I'm not going to post that yet. I'm still feeling a little annoyed about the whole thing, but there's nothing to do. And everyone was healthy all weekend, and most of the household chores got done on Saturday. And I bought new shoes today (2 pairs!). Retail therapy is good.

Angst

I haven't posted much because I haven't written much in over a week. I've been dragging my feet, and I think one of them is stuck in the mud somewhere behind me...

We've also been just plain busy, with a stomach flu, albeit a mild one, running through all 4 of us over the past week. But Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love You, Tomorrow, I should have a few precious (and kid-free) late-afternoon hours to myself. Assuming I don't order a few yards of mulch to be delivered instead...

I haven't done any more clean up on Chivalrous for the GH yet. It's on the to-do list. And I have more scenes for Accomplice running through my head. And, I have a big decision to make about NaNoWriMo. Yikes, it's coming up quick.

I did it last year--and hammered out my first "draft" of Chivalrous. Less of a draft and more of a fleshed-out outline really. So this year, I have to choose: do I start something completely new (which follows the rules and the spirit of NaNo), do I just power through Accomplice (I'm aiming for 80-90k words, so there will be easily 50,000 left for me to write), or what? The idea with NaNo is to write 50k words of a brand new work, not to finish an existing one...

Too many ideas. The past couple of days, an idea for a paranormal romance that could easily lend itself to a series has infiltrated my waking hours. I started doing a little shopping around on Amazon, and don't see anything quite like it. So far. And no, I won't share my idea. It sounds like fun, but scary--will be a sort of urban fantasy/paranormal where a lot of the action (in my initial book anyway) will be set in contemporary USA. But there's some serious world-building that I need to do, including some language development, etc. Frightening.

And did I mention the other half-dozen or so project ideas I have? Two womens' lit stories, a completely different paranormal, a couple of other flat out contemporaries...

This is why I hate election year. Yes, there's a segue here. I don't do well with too many choices, or too much time to decide. I waffle. I waver. I overthink everything. Much better to just jump first and then check for a parachute.